#fattofabover50 #Tubiolo #Pilato

Day  206 – This is Mary and Frank Tubiolo. Her maiden name is Pilato. They were full blooded Sicilian and passed way too early. But I keep thinking I see or hear her…everywhere. She must be trying to tell me, her granddaughter,  something. I’m honestly trying to listen. But all I hear is silence.

Once, when a young woman got hit by a car on her bicycle outside our home, I ran laid down by her side to comfort her as she lay in the street, seemingly dying. I tried to keep everyone away from her broken body, and put my fingers under her chin, since she was aspirating and choking. The ambulance came and got her. Drenched in her blood, I went upstairs in my room alone to pray (and cry) for her. As I began, I felt hands gently patting me on the back. In the millisecond it took me to turn around, I saw I was alone. In the silence I knew it just had to be my Grandma Mary. I just knew it.

Over the last few days I’ve been able to see my beloved cousin from New York. My Cousin is a “Pilato.” The spitting image of his father. Our grandparents were siblings. We are second cousins. But since I don’t have any first cousins, my second, even third cousins step in! And it is awesome. In fact, my second and third cousins in Ireland took such good care of my daughter and I last summer, there simply are no words to accurately express my gratitude.

The surname Pilato…is Italian. And years ago, as my grandmother’s health faded, she came to stay with our family. Once my grandmother knew the neighbor apparently didn’t appreciate “Italian” immigrants. It was ON.

She then made it her mission to cozy up to said neighbor. When the woman asked, “How do you pronounce your name?” what she got was…the entire history and entomology of the Pilato last name.

My grandmother proceeded to tell her we were direct descendents of Pontius Pilate (The man who sentenced Jesus to his death). Aside from the appalling lack of giving two “F@#k’s” what this lady thought, I believe my Grandmother is still laughing her butt off that this story made us pariahs in our neighborhood…but subsequently took on a life of it’s own. Even getting grandkids in trouble at Catholic School because we’d repeated it!

The only thing I want to repeat these days is time with family. It is a pretty quiet house right now. I’m told I’ll learn to love it. I’m just not there yet. I need to stay kind to myself and not focus on the things that are most important to me.

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