Day 344 – It’s all about energy. And mine is improving. I can feel it. I know it. I’m working hard at it. When I began this journey, peace was the furthest thing from my existence. I now see it within my reach. Through my work with coach Bill Cortright, the following list of lower unconscious energies were where my energy and existence resided. They’re numbered for references I can’t explain here but they are extremely telling when you see where I’m now headed:
Level One Unconsciousness
175-Pride- Aloof, Boastful, Vain, Unforgiving, Self-Satisfied, Prejudiced, Smug, Opinionated, Clever, Closed, Bigoted, Bored, Critical, Righteous, Never Wrong
150-Anger- Aggressive, Annoyed, Outraged, Stern, Resistant, Resentment, Rude, Pushy, Harsh, Defiant, Irritated, Impatience, Jealous, Mad, Mean, Belligerent
125-Desire- Anticipation, Reckless, Possessive, Obsessed, Can’t Wait, Driven, Frustrated, Manipulative, Demanding, Greedy, I Want, Selfish, Must Have It,
100-Fear- Anxious, Shy, Nervous, Embarrassed, Cowardice, Doubt, Worry, Trapped, Irrational, Panic, Terrified, Tense, Timid, Skeptical, Paralyzed, Hesitant, Avoidance, 75-Grief-Blue, Abandoned, Abused, Cheated, Disappointed, Unloved, Sadness, Pity, Regret, Helpless, Inadequate, Torn, Unwanted, Rejected, Misunderstood, Sorrow,
50-Apathy, I Can’t, Bored, Lazy, Stuck, Too Tired, Unfocused, I Don’t Care, Drained, Lost, Indecisive, Doomed, Listless, Despair, Giving Up, Discouraged, Too Tired
30-Guilt, Can’t Win, Cut-Off, Worthless, Loser, Failure, Hopeless, Useless, I Don’t Care, Defeated, Negative, Inattentive, Demoralized, Powerless, Regret, Manipulative Below 30-Shame, Unworthiness, Dirty, Broken, Unwanted, No Way Out, Empty, Embarrassed, Humiliated, Suicidal
NOW THIS IS WHERE I’M HEADED AND BOY DOES IT FEEL GREAT!
Level Two Self-Mastery
400-Reason- Embracing, Wonder, Secure, Radiant, Enhanced, Gentle, Enriched, Loving, Intuitive 350-Acceptance-Surrenderd, Beautiful, Well-Being, Playful, Harmonious, Understanding, Warm
310-Willingness-Optimistic, Abundance, Everything is OK, Friendly, Gracious, Joyful, Cheerful, Promising, Favorable,
250-Neutrality- Flexible, Assured, Explorative, Integrity, Open, Motivated, Receptive, Spontaneous, Willing
200-Courage- Alert, Aware, Confident, Focused, I Can, Initiative, Purposeful, Strong, Happy, Positive
This may seem relatively straight forward in terms of “goals” but…trust me…this is not an easy trip. Especially when you have someone like Bill chasing you, challenging everything you think and feel, joyously cheerleading you on. Asking why. Incessantly. Forcing you forward. omg. OMG.
Today’s coaching session left me kinda quiet. Intently listening. Learning. For those of you who personally know me? Shut up! YES. It is possible!
It was just that there was so much thrown at me in terms of the possibilities. I am still processing it.
As I read, and re-read this list…I see I have a crystalline choice. We all do. I’m choosing peace.
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