#fattofbover50 #spock #shabbatshalom

Day 446 – Do #Vulcans do it better? I have no eff’ing idea! But Leonard Nemoy’s iconic character had that resting bitch face down. That is for sure.

That middle ground. That peaceful center where you are not swayed to either extreme. I think he perfected that. He’d have a “love” affair and if you blinked…you missed the trace amount of emotion that poked through for a millisecond. My work trying to keep myself centered and not triggering continues. Some days I win. Some I lose. Eventually, I will stay steady because you can’t underestimate the power of persistence. I just keep showing up.

So as we prepare to bury my husband’s Aunt tomorrow, I will be white knuckling it. Holding onto the precipice of sanity…just a little bit. Sadness vs. happiness. People will come to celebrate her life and that will make me happy. However, I will be left with sadness that her life, while meaningful and sweet, was cruelly cut short by #cancer.

This will be the 3rd person in nearly 2 1/2 years. Gone. Too soon. We spent the afternoon with my husband’s 103+ (we think she is older) grandmother. A family friend remarked how “tough” she is, upon hearing the news of the loss of her cherished daughter. I didn’t like that. And I don’t agree. I see her as resilient and pragmatic. She doesn’t seem to go from high to low…the only extreme I’ve seen her exhibit is an opinionated middle.

Perhaps that is a secret to life’s success. Know who you are, know your boundaries, and be confident in your faith. That pretty much sums her up. Spock knows how to keep it real too. #foodforthought

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